Three steps. Most pen-pal friendships that stay active last six months to three years. Some last longer.
Filter profiles by interests, age, state, language, or release date. Before a profile goes up, we check it against prison and court records. We check again every three months, or every 30 days for county-jail profiles. The charges, the date they went in, and the earliest release date are right on the profile, so you can decide for yourself.
Send it straight to the person's facility messaging address or mailing address. Or use the Letter Relay add-on if you would rather not share your own address. Relay sends your letter through the facility's messaging system in your own words, word for word, with nothing changed. Paper mail if you ask. Facility staff read everything.
You promise nothing beyond the first letter. Keep going based on what comes back. Pause or stop any time. We do not match people. We list them. You do the choosing.
"Your letters will matter more to the person you write to than their letters will matter to you. That is just how it is. It is part of why this kind of writing is rare, and why it matters."
Before you start, ask yourself: can I keep writing? Most pen-pal friendships that stay active last six months to three years. Some last longer. Some end after a couple of letters. What makes the difference, almost every time, is whether the person outside kept writing.
A paid listing service. People inside pay to have a profile on this site. People outside look through the profiles and write for free. We call the people outside who write correspondents, which is just an older word for pen pal. We use "you" on this page because that is who we are talking to.
Every profile is checked before it goes up. The convictions we find in the record are shown on the profile, so you can decide what you are comfortable with. The person inside must agree in writing, in their own words, before anything is published.
Not a dating site. Most of these friendships are platonic. We say this clearly because a lot of services in this space do not. If you are looking for romance, this may not be the right place. If you start anyway, be honest about it in your first letter. Do not let it come out three months in.
Not a charity. People inside pay to be listed. You are not "giving back" or "serving." You are choosing to get to know a person. That is not how we think about this, and it is not what the people listed here are looking for.
Not a religious mission. Many of the people listed here are religious, and we respect that fully. The site itself is not. If you want faith-based pen-pal writing, other services fit better.
Not an activist group. Some of the people listed have strong political views, including about prisons. That is their voice, not ours. InsideLines is a service, not a cause.
People outside who can write a real letter once or twice a month, and keep doing it. The least we would suggest is one letter every 4 to 6 weeks. Pen-pal friendships that last usually settle into a letter about every two weeks.
People who can talk honestly about real things. Politics, faith, family, books, what you are working on, what scares you, what you regret, what makes you laugh. Do not make "what is it like inside" the only thing you ask about. The people listed here are not interview subjects.
People who are not looking to change someone. The person you write to is not a project. They are a person with a life, opinions, and a reading list. We do not use "redemption" language on this site. The people we work with do not talk about themselves that way, and they do not want pen pals who do.
People who want to write three letters in the first month and then fade away. To the person inside, that feels like being left mid-conversation. We would rather you not start than start and stop.
People looking for romance or sexual content. Other sites exist for that. This is not one of them.
People who want to write a stranger to feel better about themselves. The "one thing to know first" above is the most important thing on this site. Read it again.
The person inside gets your letter the way you sent it: through the facility's messaging system, by mail, or through Letter Relay. How fast they can read and reply depends on the facility. Some people can get to a messaging terminal every day. Some only once a week. Expect the first reply in 1 to 4 weeks. After that, letters usually move faster as you both find a rhythm.
You can pause or stop at any time, with no penalty. We only ask that you say so. Do not just go quiet. The person inside cannot tell the difference between a decision and a mail delay. A short goodbye is a kinder ending than silence.
Every profile is checked against prison and court records before it goes up. The convictions we find, the sentence, and the earliest release date are shown plainly on every profile. We do not turn anyone away because of the kind of crime they were convicted of. You read what the record says, and you decide whether to write.
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